Therapists, I don't like their taste.i.in 7th grade i didn’t know depressionuntil she told me her name,carving forever scratches along my limbs likelittle love notes on the barkof a tree.she stole my ringsand left me hollow.ii.i had only ever met anxietyin passing, until one day he handed me power and told meto hurt someone else with it.iii.inexperienced,with an uncontrollablequivering in my fingers,he whispered, “ to survive,you must learn quickly.”as i shoved the bevel of a needleinto a strangers arm.iv.so, if a therapistcould talk away my scarslike iodine disinfects,guide the shipsthrough
Please,don’t make me fall in love with you,again.I don’t want to remember you,those Sunday morning wake-me-up kisses,or the way yourlost boy eyes always,always found a wayto find mine.There are only so many timesI can allow you to slicethrough my scar tissuebefore I finallyfallap art.
lion boyi knew a boy witheyes of gold & firein his footsteps.he would roar to thestars, declaring himselfas fearless as a king & as regal as a lion."ad lucem,"he would announceevery night when leowould coax the virginfrom her radiantcastle.five times around thesun & loyal fangs baredto shield his kingdom,my lion boydances with flames.
No more than thisYou are nothingto me -yet everything -a sweet, sweetpoisonof wordsand smileswhich Iwelcomelike mylife's blood,slipping,indeterminate.down intothe secretchambers of heartand soul...So whenI die,I willtastethe bitternessand thegoodnessall at onceas the lightleavesand the musicswellsand one lastsigh -hear it,feel it...as I amno morethan this...Not any morethan this...
ExposureThe wind invites itselffrom underneath my door,it reaches underit pulls open-the leaves come in.A bird hops over thethreshold and tilts itshead in quick, informativemotions.The rains follow inafter the wind andnow I have to reason withboth the animals and the storm.Those abandoned wooden barnswith one wall collapsed,overgrown with vines and ferns.The epitome of giving in.I close the doorand all the windows,leave it to the glassto challenge the rain.That little bird,somewhere in here,is searching for wherethe wind has gone.Thunder knocksonce, thentwice.I imagine lyingon the hood of a carbeneath the desert su
Translucentand you always see right throughI've called it my masterpiecebut you've disapprovedyou told me that you always preferred natural sunlightto the dim sort of darkness I surround myself withyou've disapproved but I'm scared that it won't matter anyway
A little punk rocker with a gift for singing songsGirl with the rock and roll smirk curled behind her teethBurning her insides for fun because there wasn’t much else to doAside from skipping stones across car parksAnd sipping the last dregs of forbidden liquor Behind broken trees to keep up the act of normalityLate at night when the moon is asleepShe lies on dismantled bed framesCounting stars because lambs are too often sent to the slaughterLucky star heartbeats and posy veins Hides broken windows behind her pupilsCeiling lights tracing patterns on her cheekbonesAs late night contemplation's lead back to RomeAtlas limbs curled into her ribsWith a sense of obligation she
ExperimentalistShe always said she wasAn experimentalist.I knew otherwise.This girl was raised to Believe that the ability of Counting the bones in yourRib cage is beautiful.Sixteen years oldWith sand in her bloodAnd shoulder blades As sharp as knivesAs long as wings.That day I knewHer smiles were painfulAnd her laughs were justRecorded in her throatFrom so much practice In a life that was onceSo happy.
i shouldn't write when i'm stonedpeople say you'rean asshole. but that'sokay because people sayi'm an asshole, too. maybethat's one of the reasonsyou love me and i love you.but i think more than that,i think the biggest reasonwe're drawn to each other isthat neither of us fit anywhere.we are both lonely. and we are sad.but we don't care, and we love it.we are good at beingalone. we are good atbeing together. if i could,i would paint a pictureof two souls tethered closebut sitting in separate roomsand i would point to it. then youwould understand why we willnever come apart.
String TheoryThis is determination,existential numbness in whichI drown from the paranoid spittleof that dreary-eyed girllost in the mirror.Jesus, what would you doif you saw me now, all grown into my predetermined curves andthe nihilistic fabrications knotted in my skin.Maybe you still want to bea brain surgeon. Maybe you still weep when you’re happy and stopwhen you’re lonely, drooping over likethe puppet no one remembered. Maybeyou still smoke like it’s a defiance, and lovelike it’s a war; maybe time preserved youlike a corpse in formaldehyde, and maybeyou still think of me, too.
Pack rats I want to be that stale as bread, peeling picture of her that you stow(ed) away in the beating of your breast pocket
this habiti have this habit of thinking without thinking.my mind will be walking down a roadbetween citieswhile i am plugging away at the factory,while i am putting groceries away.if someone were to ask me what i was thinking,i wouldn’t know what to say.i would have to wait hours,long after they’ve gone,until my mind comes through the door,tracking all manner of shit onto the floor,and explains himself.
Love LettersWith their condescending inkThey wrote patterns of gold Upon parchment leather paperWithin letters of words foretoldPerhaps with this envelope And its rose tainted scentI can find peace in myselfIn the summer days spentWhere I took in the musky smellOf your heart.As I held it against my chest I picked up a pen and began to startDear love, oh loveHow I wish to see your lovely faceThese days, these mornings areWhat keep me hoping in sovereign grace...
Sea sonnet for the girl with ocean eyesShe was southern Californian storms On a good dayWhen the skies nursed the shoreline like a woundAnd the rain tasted like two scoops of mint chip ice creamShe held the nebula in her palmsAnd poured it out onto the sidewalkSo that the gutters would have somethingTo talk about at nightShe swallowed the oceanAnd held it in her eyes deep poolsOf mountain rock blue straining against the skyThe bluest eyes I’d ever seenSparrow girl with the breathless wingsEmbellished in vinyl’s and cassette tapesGramophone gilded lashes and half-moon wrists made upPaper tapestries taped together with Shakespeare and GreenSunday mor
Alaska is hiding behind her eyesA girl caught up in the same gameWhere circus tricks and trapeze artistsAre nothing compared to the burning of lungs Where insomnia stains the people’s smilesIn a pale wash of sea foam angst bottled up and thrown Into the horizon where the sky meets the earth In a disjointed seamShe had hurricane rage eyes And wishbone sleeves pulled tightly across her chestTo suppress her Medusa heart from crackingThe stars open and drinking their flamesOcean funeral where ChaconneIs played to sirens and sea urchins Coiled beneath the oily depths of seascapesWhere her kite string spines push against the thin membraneOf split grin skie
the ultimate Truthwhat is writing poetrybut the act of lettingeach emotionlike a dazzling riverflow from my heartdown through my finger tipsto some form of mediawhere it will never mean as muchas it didinside